Culture Shock and Language: Adjusting to Life Abroad

You can plan your visa, your budget and your shipping down to the dollar, and still be blindsided three months in by a bad day at the bank that leaves you wondering why you moved. That feeling has a name, and it's normal. Knowing what's coming won't make it disappear, but it does make it much easier to get through.

This guide covers the stages of adjustment, a realistic plan for learning the language, building a social life, dealing with loneliness, staying close to people back home, and the surprise many expats face when they visit or move back: reverse culture shock.

The stages of adjustment

Researchers have described cultural adjustment as a "U-curve" since the 1950s, when Norwegian sociologist Sverre Lysgaard proposed it. Anthropologist Kalervo Oberg later popularized the term "culture shock." The model isn't a law of nature, and plenty of people don't follow it neatly, but it describes a pattern many expats recognize:

1. Honeymoon. Everything is new and exciting. The food, the architecture, the low prices. You take photos of everything.
2. Crisis. The novelty fades and the friction builds. Paperwork takes five visits. You can't follow conversations. Small things, like how people queue or how long dinner takes, start to grate. You may feel irritable, homesick, tired or isolated.
3. Adjustment. You learn how things work. You develop routines, a few friendships, a favorite café. The frustrations shrink to normal size.
4. Adaptation. You function comfortably in both cultures. Your new home feels like home, without your old one feeling foreign.

Signs you're in the dip

• Constantly comparing everything to how it's done "back home."
• Avoiding going out or dealing with locals.
• Spending hours on U.S. news, social media or streaming.
• Changes in sleep, appetite or drinking.
• Sharp irritation with your partner over small things.

If those feelings last for months or include hopelessness, treat it as a health issue, not a character flaw. Many therapists work online, and some specialize in expats. Our healthcare abroad guide covers finding care.

A practical language learning plan

Language is the biggest lever on your quality of life abroad. It decides whether you can explain symptoms to a doctor, argue a bill, make local friends or understand a notice from immigration.

Set expectations honestly. The State Department's Foreign Service Institute, which trains U.S. diplomats, estimates that English speakers need 24 to 30 weeks of full-time instruction (600 to 750 class hours) to reach professional working proficiency in Spanish, Portuguese or Italian, and about 44 weeks (1,100 hours) for a "hard" language like Thai. Those are intensive, full-time classes. Expats studying a few hours a week take longer.

You don't need professional proficiency to live well. You need functional language for daily life. A practical plan:

1. Start before you go. Even three to six months of steady study before the move makes arrival much easier.
2. Learn survival language first. Greetings, numbers, prices, directions, food, and the words for your medications and conditions.
3. Take structured classes when you arrive. Group classes also build a social circle with other newcomers.
4. Add a tutor or exchange partner. Conversation practice is where most adults stall.
5. Use the language in real life daily. Order, ask, chat with neighbors. Mistakes are the price of learning.
6. Learn the language of paperwork. Rental contracts, utility bills, bank and government terms. This is where misunderstandings cost money.

If you're choosing between countries, language difficulty is a legitimate factor. Our guide to choosing a country discusses how to weigh it.

Building community

Friendships don't come from the move itself. They come from showing up in the same places, repeatedly. Some ways expats build a life:

• Faith communities. Churches, mosques, synagogues and temples often welcome newcomers and connect you to local life. Many cities have English-language congregations as well.
• Volunteering. Gives you purpose and local friendships, though check whether your visa limits unpaid work.
• Classes and clubs. Language school, cooking classes, hiking groups, sports, choirs.
• Expat groups. Helpful for practical advice and early friendships. Don't let them become your only circle.
• Neighbors and shopkeepers. Greet the same people every day. Small relationships add up.

Many Black Americans exploring places like Ghana, the Caribbean or Latin America find diaspora networks and community organizations that help newcomers find their footing. Ask on your scouting trip where people gather.

Loneliness

Loneliness is one of the most common reasons people move back. It tends to hit hardest for single retirees, the "trailing spouse" of a remote worker, and anyone who moves somewhere with few English speakers and little language.

Some things that help:

• Put social activities on the calendar the way you would a doctor's appointment.
• Choose a walkable neighborhood where daily errands bring you into contact with people.
• Join something with a regular schedule, so you see the same people weekly.
• Be the one who invites. Many other expats are waiting for someone to go first.
• Get a dog, if your housing allows it. Dogs are excellent conversation starters. See moving abroad with pets.

Staying connected to home

Staying close to family and friends takes a bit of structure across time zones:

• Set a regular call time with family, and keep it.
• Keep a U.S. phone number for banking codes and so people can reach you. See mail, phone and a U.S. address.
• Plan visits both ways, and budget for flights home for weddings, births and emergencies.
• Enroll in the State Department's Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP) so the U.S. embassy can reach you, and your family can reach you through the embassy, in an emergency. A new version of STEP launched in 2024, so if you enrolled before then, check that your enrollment carried over.

Balance matters. Hours a day on U.S. news and social media can keep you emotionally living in the place you left. Many expats find they settle faster when they set limits.

Reverse culture shock

The same researchers who described the U-curve extended it into a "W-curve" for people returning home. Re-entry is often harder than the original move because nobody expects it. Home has changed. Prices, politics and slang have shifted. Friends have moved on. And you've changed too, in ways that can make old routines feel strange.

Common experiences include:

• Feeling overwhelmed by U.S. stores, traffic and pace.
• Frustration that people aren't very interested in your life abroad.
• Missing the language, food and rhythms of your other home.
• A sense of not fully belonging in either place.

It helps to name it, find other people who have lived abroad, and give yourself the same patience you needed when you first moved. Many people who return keep a foot in both worlds through language, cooking, community groups and travel.

Last reviewed October 17, 2026. General information only, not legal, immigration, or tax advice. Requirements change, so confirm with official sources before you apply. See our disclaimer.